Halifax Hurricanes Fan Forced to Eat Entire 6-Foot Sub

Team promotion lands their fan in emergency department.

Terrance Stewart returns to the same seat where a poorly planned give away almost claimed his life

Terrance Stewart has been coming to Halifax Hurricanes games all season long. “It’s just a great atmosphere, you know?” groaned Terrance from his hospital bed at the Halifax Infirmary, where he was being kept overnight for observation. “At home, it’s just so noisy with the kids there. When I need some peace and quiet to catch up on my work, I simply buy a Hurricanes ticket.”

The 32-year-old accountant had been doing just that, lost in thought as he stared at an Excel spreadsheet, when he was startled to find event staff standing next to him. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Normally, its just me out there but when I looked up, two people were only a few feet away. I have to admit, I jumped a little.”

In an attempt to bolster fan involvement, the Hurricanes had decided to give away a free six-foot sub to each game’s most raucous fans. A promotion that had proven very successful for other sport teams. “I wasn’t paying attention and I guess the sound of me typing away on my laptop was the noisiest thing there. I can get pretty aggressive with the backspace button.”

Terrance tried to politely decline but staff desperately insisted he take it. After some persuasion, he relented, choosing one of the center pieces and taking a bite. He thought that there was perhaps a bit too much mayo but overall, it was a pretty decent sandwich.

After finishing the first piece, he went to place the rest on the ground when he noticed the game had stopped and the Halifax players were staring up at him. After three agonizingly awkward seconds, the longest 3 seconds in Terrance’s life, a staff member leaned in and whispered, “They want to see you eat it. All of it. Please, you have to eat all of it.”

 It turns out that teammates Cliff Clinkscales (Point Guard) and Renaldo Dixon (who has yet to declare a position according to the team’s website) had made this six foot sub themselves the previous afternoon in Clinkscales apartment.

“They just looked so sad, staring up at me with big baby-doe eyes. I knew I couldn’t let them down. It would break their hearts. And so I ate and ate and ate. I asked the staff to help me but they said they couldn’t accept prizes and there was no one else there to help”

Two hours later, nauseated and barely conscious, Terrance stuffed the last piece of bread into his mouth. Clinkscales and Dixon’s faces beamed with pride. Summoning every last ounce of strength that he had left, Terrance lifted his arm and gave the team a thumbs up. The players erupted in chorus of cheers along with a fury of hugs and high-fives, waking the Niagra River Lions who had fallen asleep waiting for the game to restart. As the team charged into the locker room to celebrate, Coach Hugo Lopez ran into the stands, tears dripping from his blood shot eyes, “Thank you! Thank you! We needed this! Oh God, did we need this.” However, at that point Terrance had already collapsed and EHS had arrived.

A spokesman from the Hurricanes marketing department was unable to be reached, as he was instead spending the day handing out tear-stained resumes around the city.

The game, of course, ended in a Halifax Hurricane forfeit.